Grinch

Hey kids,

This chica has been through H.E. double hockey sticks this past week. Not only did my fair Hamlet get hit by the worst snowstorm this area has seen since 1979 but now, NOW I am sick as a dog. Just in time for the holidays, just in time for me to miss out on some mucho deniro just in time to make me a perfect grump!

So sorry, there wont be much blogging until after the holidays. :(

I hope you all have a safe and lovely Solstice, a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a Joyous Kwanzaa and a wonderful New Year! :)

Soooo, How Are You? :)

Wow.... I have been putting off blogging for ever and now there are so many subjects to cover that I feel this post will be a doozie. So bare with me please.

Gosh, where to start?

Okay, Food Matters by Mark Bittman is a revelation. I know that I am super late on hopping on this bandwagon but what can I say? I tend to come to things in my own time. To sum up; in order to shrink your global footprint, eat consciously, feel better and yes, even loose weight you should eat local, eat mostly plants, animal protein as more of a side dish and stay away from processed foods. You may be thinking, well duh Olivia, many books have said such things. But for some reason they way Mr. Bittman writes about it makes sense to this lay person.

So I have been putting his ideas to work. The thing to remember is that it's not about what you can't have it's about what you can. So I have been juggling several different approaches. The one that seems to be working for the moment is eating mostly fresh fruits, vegetables and whole grains with meat being a side dish or a flavoring. In fact what I have been doing is saving animal protein for my evening meal ( one of many positives to this approach is since I mostly work out in the evening the protein helps to repair my muscles during sleep.) Plus the meat I am purchasing is from my local butcher from a local source so that makes me feel kinda good. :)

I must admit it has been a little challenging reminding myself not to order meat when I go out and to try to stick to the mostly vegetarian menu options but other than that it's been pretty awesome. I feel much more energetic, I am sleeping better and you know what the best thing about this change is? It's so much friendlier to my wallet. You will be amazed at the amount of savings you will enjoy when you mostly buy fruit, veggies, legumes and grains. So give Food Matters a read, I got mine from my local library.

Moving on to exercise (groan.) I gotta be honest... I can definitely improve my commitment to exercise. I was doing quite well for a few weeks in November but admit that I lost my way. I started back up again this week partly because I have been feeling so much more energy from the Food Matters menu but also because I have been thinking about goals. I have been reading what Krissie at Questions For Dessert has been up to for the past couple of months. That girl is a runnin' fool and I love it! In fact running has been on my mind a lot lately. I really admire the people I see out there every day running, taking that time out for themselves and getting stronger every day. Many of my clients are runners and I just love to hear them talk about the feeling they get when they run... the Runner's High I believe it's called. It just sounds so amazing.

I know that I am a quite a bit away from being able to run for exercise. Any sort of bouncing exercise tends to hurt (if you know what I mean) so I have to always find alternative ways of doing things. I hope to one day not have to worry about alternatives, to one day be able to just hop into any exercise without feeling so incredibly overwhelmed at first. Here's hoping or should I say hopping? ;)

Moving Day approaches. Well, not till the middle of January but it feels like it's next week. I am starting to freak a little because I feel as though the packing will never get done. Work has picked up in many ways and slowed in some but I seem to have little time to do home stuff except at night but by then I am tired and just want to lay in bed and read. Hence the not so frequent blogging. Even with all the stress I am still super excited. I love the house I will be moving too. I really enjoy the folks I will be sharing the house with and I really enjoy the fact that it is out in the country. Don't get me wrong, I love my little historic town but it seems like the University is taking over and the college kids are infesting every single apartment building downtown. I have nothing against college kids but let's call a spade a spade and admit that loud obnoxious partying until the wee hours of the morning almost every night starts to take it's toll. I used to be there, I was that young once so I don't throw a big stink about it. Instead I chose to move elsewhere.

I hope to have to pictures to show you soon of the new place. I have to paint at some point before I move into my room and hope that will only take a day or two. The kitchen is so lovely... so much room and counter space. I find myself becoming more creative with food when I am over there. There is a big porch with rocking chairs and a beautiful two story shed that the upstairs can be converted into an art studio. I can't wait!!!!

Enough about me, what have you been up to?

ThePioneer Woman's Sweet-Roasted Acorn Squash Wedges

It's no secret that I love me some Pioneer Woman. I must check her site at least three times a day.... more if I am off work. I covet her new cookbook and hope upon hope that Santa will bring it to me this year. ;) When I saw this recipe I knew it was for me. I actually made it quite a while ago but haven't had the time to sit down and blog about it. I changed the butter to Smart Balance and halved the recipe since I only had one squash. Here goes:

Ingredients

• 1 whole Acorn Squash, Cut Into 8 Wedges Each
• 2 dash(es) Olive Oil
• Salt To Taste
• 1/4 cup Smart Balance
• 1/4 cups Brown Sugar (lightly Packed)
• 1 Tablespoon Rosemary (minced)
• 
  

Cut squash in half

Scoop out seeds and guts

Cut into wedges, smear in olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt roast at 350 degrees for 20 minutes

While the squash is baking mince the rosemary

Mix Smart Balance, brown sugar and rosemary into a paste

Once the first baking is done, smear the paste onto the squash wedges, return to the oven for 30 minutes or until caramelized

Smells heavenly

Tastes even better :)

I decided to make chicken breasts to go with it. Take two tablespoons vinaigrette of your choice and 1 teaspoon herbs de Provence and mix it in a small baking dish

Add two skinless chicken breasts and cover with the mixture. Cover in tinfoil and bake with the squash for it's last 3o minutes

De-lish! Thank you Pioneer Woman!

Farewell Dear Friend

My beloved purple Guess bag has moved on to a better place. A place where purses are free. Free of clutter, gum wrappers, spilled lotion, scuff marks and broken handles. I will miss you my loveliest of accessories. Perhaps we will meet again someday... or maybe if you have a twin sister you could send her my way? *sobs quietly to herself*

Post In the Near Future

I promise. :) There has been a lot going on and business had JUMPED and with packing and Christmas coming, time has gotten away from me. But soon, my pretties, soon. :D

Happy Turkey or Tofurkey Day Everyone!

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~Erma Bombeck

I Want To Go To There

The Biggest Loser Resort at Fitness Ridge


Anyone else up for it? ;0)

Grandmom

Saturday November 14, 2009 my great grandmother passed away. She was 104 and full of moxy but she was ready to move on to her next journey. We love you Grandmom!

MUST...HAVE...BOOTS!

*salivating*

I Actually Made It To The Gym Today

I know! Shocking right? ;) I just felt so awful not making it to the gym yesterday that I was bound and determined to get there today. I almost missed tonight's Strive class due to some complications at work but I took a breath, said a payer and was on my way. It felt so good to test my muscle strength today. I mean I use my muscles everyday and sometimes more than others depending on how many deep tissue massage I have booked. But this exercise in strength was just for me... and no one else. :)

My post workout bliss was almost ruined by a voicemail I got from a co-worker basically telling me that a mistake that she made today is going to make my work day tomorrow a big ol' steaming pile of poo. I am trying not to be mad but this particular co-worker seems to constantly mess things up for everyone but herself. So in my euphoric endorphined post workout state I stood up for myself, tried to figure out a solution and am trying (very hard I might add) to intend an easier time of it tomorrow. I figure I can either condemn the day to ruin before it has started or try and be positive and hope for the best. Mostly I just hope if it does get sticky that I can hold my temper in check and not stress. So on that note I have sent out a Facebook notice to my friends indicating that a evening out is definitely in order for tomorrow... maybe even a little dancing? :)

Any fun plans this weekend?

Cold November Rain

Hello Lovelies! Is it rainy, blustery and cold where you are? It's almost hurricane-like here. Been raining for two days and looking to continue for a third. This kind of weather combined with darkness at 5pm gives me a little case of the blues. So in order to combat my oogy feelings I headed to the gym this evening for a 5pm Strive circuit training class. However due to traffic, flooding and construction on EVERY SINGLE ROUTE I missed the class. In fact at 5:20 I made a u-turn to head home since traffic was at a standstill. Frustration. It's all good though. I am making a healthy fish burrito for dinner gonna turn on this weeks episode of Biggest Loser and catch up on some Dietribe for a little inspiration.

My portions this week have been really awesome, well except for yesterday's lunch with friends but other than that right on point. Plus everything consumed has been real food...nothing processed. I am working on my portions first and once I feel I have a good control on that I am going to focus on getting my caloric intake to 1800 or less. I feel that this will be a good amount of healthy calories for me to start with and then slowly decrease as the loss begins to plateau. Spark.com get ready to help this calorie counting challenged individual get her butt in gear.

Business is most definitely picking up for the holidays, which is awesome to the max. That being said I will try to keep up with my blogging. With the move coming up in January I have been spending a lot of time de-cluttering, weeding out and organizing my endless amount of crap. I want to get on top of this before the holiday madness begins.

I gotsta question for you folks. What do you do as a creative outlet? I am searching for mine. I would love to have more than one. I feel my passion for photography rekindling which I am so stoked about but I feel I need more. I was so artsy fartsy in high school, in fact I really wanted to be a curator but as will happen, life got in the way. :) I hope to make a vision board this weekend that will help me realize my dreams and really want creativity to be the focus of it. So lurkers, come out and play!

What's New Magoo?

This week has been very difficult for me. I have had a sinus infection since Sunday which has completely sucked all of my energy and stamina right out of the room. My nutrition has been sub par with a few really healthy days thrown in. I have done no exercise this week due to the pressure in my head and my inability to breath properly. Work has been difficult needless to say. Who wants a massage by a flemmy, snotty, hacky massage therapist? Stand in line kids, no pushing. :)

So I have had a lot of time to think this week. Yes, even while I was busy shoving my mouth full of potato chips and french onion dip, gobbling my way through and entire tub of Breyers mint chip ice cream and ultimately hating myself for it the entire time. But did it stop me? NO. And that's what makes it so sickening. I am a 33 year old woman, I should know better. I should live better. So in my downtrodden state I stumbled upon this young woman's journey: Kassandra and this post.

Kassandra gets it. She lives it. And her faith is extraordinary. I look up to this young woman the same way I look up to many of you, yes you out there in bloggerland. :) So I guess what I am trying to say is, thank you. Thank you for being there when I need encouragement, a shoulder to cry on or a partner in crime. Because of all of your journeys, stumbles and start agains, I have the courage to get back on track and forgive myself, learn what I need to from this lesson and focus on the now.

Have a great weekend!

Ain't No Sunshine TILL She's Gone

Is it terrible of me that I am so super duper happy that Tracy was voted off last night?

I didn't think so. :)

Product Review Time!

So my hair hasn't been quite so hot lately. Mainly due to the fact that I really need a cut and highlight in ze vorst vay. That hurdle will be jumped tomorrow evening when I have my hair appointment with the world's most awesome hairstylist, my step-sister Kristen. They have her listed as an apprentice but that is incorrect. She is a master stylist and color educator and just plain amazing!

Back to the subject. I needed something to get me by in the meantime and boy oh boy have I found it:

Sexyhair's Chocolate Soy Milk Shampoo and

Sexyhair's Soymilk Conditioner.

Love, love, love this stuff! Not only does it smell absolutely Divine but it keeps my hair shiny, bouncy and clean....longer. It is sulfate free and color safe which I love. I have fine hair that seems to get really oily as the day progresses and by the next morning I look like a grunge singer from the mid 90's. Not attractive. However with this stuff I can go almost a full day and a half before the oiliness begins to show. I have never had that from a shampoo before. :)

They carry this line at some salons and most Ultas. Go! Run! Now!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

My Biggest Inspiration

Abby from this season of The Biggest Loser.

This woman inspires me in a way that no other contestant has. She inspires me to be a better person. If she can wake up everyday, after what she has been through, with love in her heart and dreams of her own then I can certainly try to model my own will after hers.

YOU GO, ABBY!

OMG

I totally just received my very first blog award! Thank you so much Paula for bestowing my little ole blog with this:



Tee hee! (geeking out noises!)

Slacky McSlackerton

I can't help it, I don't want to be behind the computer typing away, I want to be outside doing fun things. Especially since my town currently looks like this:

I heart the fall more than I can possibly say.

Here is a breakdown of what I have been up to the past couple of weeks:

• 4 day Colorado visit to wonderful, amazing and very dear friends
• Celtic Festival and Highland Games
• A nice pick up in business
• getting back into a workout routine
• plugging along with learning correct portion sizes
• playing around with caloric intakes (gonna try to start at around 1800 and decrease from there as the weight loss slows down)
• trying to familiarize myself with Spark.com again
• wondering where this year has gone
• preparing for the holidays and an upcoming move
• watching inspirational shows like Dietribe and Biggest Loser
• falling in love with all of your blogs
• being happy :)

(I am not going to focus on my gut in this picture....I am not going to focus on my gut in this picture.... I am not going...) :)

Is It Just Me.....

or is Jesse from Dietribe redaunkulously hot?!

The 411

Whew! Okay, let me get my thoughts together in some organized fashion so that this post isn't a complete disaster. It's been an interesting couple of weeks and months. :)

The fluctuation of the economy has taken it's toll on many and I am very fortunate and very lucky to still be treading water. It has not been easy. Even though I have been busy promoting and marketing, the actual appointments have been somewhat few and far between. Throw in several last minute cancellations and you have a lot of low income months for me. So low in fact (here is the embarrassing honesty) that I am seriously considering applying for food assistance and Medicaid. I currently do not have health insurance and haven't for almost 6 years now. After health care, food seems to be my most expensive necessity. I still have to see if I am eligible but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Other news, I have decided to move out of my amazingly lovely and well situated apartment (which is quite pricey for me now) in January. :( I have been here for three years and have absolutely loved living within walking distance to work and everything else downtown. But one must change with the times. I am lucky enough to have the opportunity to rent a room in the beautiful house of the brother of a good friend in the neighboring county. It really only adds about ten minutes to my commute but I wont be able to walk to work anymore. Positives; huge kitchen with all the amenities and then some, central air, a huge front porch equipped with rocking chairs and porch swing, a border collie named Chico, a washer and dryer and plenty of laughs. I hope that this move will allow me to get back on track with my finances.

I leave for Denver on Sunday and I am soooooo excited! I get to spend time with my dear friends Erin and Jonathan, their two adorable children and one schmoopy named Mable. So trying to cram everything into this week and part of next (I fly back Wednesday) has been a little hair raising.

Halloween is fast approaching and every weekend this month was already booked back in September. Not with massage appointments yet but with social functions. One that I am really psyched about it is the Highland Games! Large men in kilts throwing things? YES PLEASE. I know I shouldn't say this on a weight loss blog but I have been waiting a whole year to try another one of their deep fried Mars bars. I am going to try to be very diligent with my diet and exercise so that this particular treat day wont be a huge set back.

My diet has been off the charts these past few months. I know what I need to do and I just hope I can get my butt in gear and do it. I seem to go bonkers at social events especially if dirty martinis are involved. I went to a wedding last month and was seated next to the bar.... not a good thing for my diet. I don't tie one on often but when I do.... look out!

I started back at the gym so my September and October have been much more active. Not to mention this little guy below keeping me busy with several walks a day.

His name is Andy.

I watched him for almost two weeks for a friend's parents and he was the sweetest little schmoopy in the whole wide world. He went home tonight and I miss him already. But, not to worry he will be back for 3 weeks in December. :)

This may be the only post I will have a chance to write before I leave but I promise to be back soon with pics of beautiful Colorado.

Take Care!

Crock Pot Lentil and Sausage Soup

Ingredients:

1 cup uncooked lentils
1/2 lb turkey kielbasa, cut into 1 inch pieces
1 cup onion, chopped
1 cup celery, chopped
1 cup carrot, finely chopped
1 cup potato, diced
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
3 (16 ounce) cans low sodium beef broth
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

Directions:

1. Rinse lentils and drain

2. Place all ingredients in crock pot

3. Cook on low for 6-8 hours (depending on crock pot temperature). Stirring occasionally.


Yum! I found this recipe on RecipeZaar and it is now a staple. I tweaked a few things to make it a little healthier and the flavor doesn't suffer one bit. It makes the house smell amazing too!

The best thing to go with this is some homemade bread and butter and even a dash of sour cream if you'd like. Perfect fall and winter soup. :)

Best Intentions

Hi ya'll *cheeks pink with embarrassment*! Long time huh? Well this is just a post to say that a post is coming sometime this week. I have a lot going on, who doesn't right? One of the things I have going on is that I fly off to Colorado on Sunday. :D But until then I am working, dog sitting, exercising more and putting changes into place for my future.... of which I will tell you about later.

So look for a post later this week... provided I don't get distracted and forget until I am mid-air en route to Denver. :)

Miller Farms Market

Where to begin? This place is heaven right here on earth. It's how food should be, it's how America should shop and it's how we can keep our local, organic, whole food family farms afloat.

I was so captivated by this little market that I was lucky to get away with only spending $7. It's a shame I forgot my camera when I went there because it is absolutely beautiful. I wont bore you with everything they sell because you can explore for yourself on their website linked above.

But I did snap some shots of what I ran away with:

I did manage to restrain myself especially since I was on a very small budget.


This peach yogurt was absolutely sinful. It so was thick and creamy like a tangy custard. I can't wait to go back and try the other flavors.... of which there were many! :)


It's very rare that I purchase or even drink chocolate milk because, well let's face it, it's usually a big ole let down. Most of the choc. milks I have tried couldn't seem to capture the essence of the beverage I so loved as a child. Mostly because the milk isn't thick and delicious to begin with before the chocolate is even added. However this, my friends, totally lived up to the challenge. IT. WAS. AMAZING. And the bestest part ever.... it comes in a glass bottle! You have to pay a deposit of $2.50 but you get it back when you return the bottle, which I have yet to do. (cue sheepish smile)


And then there were these beauties. Farm Fresh Eggs! They were even cleaning off the chicken yuck from them before I purchased. The yolks were fabulous and deep yellow and tasted of happiness. *sigh*

Next time I am going back for the shitake mushrooms and bison meat. You just watch me!

My Smoothie Standby

I'm a breakfast gal, always have been. I wake up and maybe 15 minutes (sometimes less) goes by before my morning hunger gets the better of me. As a rule I usually enjoy something hearty that will stay with me through my first group of massage appointments. I'm talking country morning breakfasts large enough to feed farm hands.... that's how I like my breakfasts and that's one of the many, many thousands of reasons that I got to be over 300 pounds.

So needless to say those types of breakfasts have become few and far between in my life now. I have managed to start my day with very healthy good sized portion meals for years now but something happens later on in the day to evening and my good healthy meal plans go right out the window. I'm working on that. It's taking a little longer than expected but everyday I learn something more.

So when I know that my mornings are going to be a little bit more relaxed and that I will have chances to grab snacks to refuel between massage appointments I like to eat something a little lighter. So I have a smoothie standby that I usually run to. Sometimes the yogurt flavor or combination of fruits will change but the core ingredients stay the same.

1/2 cup of plain yogurt

1 scoop vanilla whey protein

2 tsp fiber

4-5 frozen strawberries

1/2 frozen banana

1/4 cup of reduced or low fat milk ( sometimes more or less depending on thickness of smoothie)

Blend till the consistency of your choosing and voila!

Slurpie tasty goodness!

I have some kiwis that will be ripe soon so maybe I will add them to my next concoction. :)

Enjoy!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Yes folks it's the beginning of fall.... my favorite time of year. I am sure that the American southeast is due for some more hot and humid Indian summer days but for right now I can definitely smell Autumn in the air. :) This weather gets me thinking about sweaters, Halloween, wood fires, hiking and camping and of course.... comfort foods. Baked goods, hot apple cider, food festivals celebrating the harvest, an entire holiday based around eating till your sides pop!

Then I think to myself, how will I not only get back on track but stay on track during the holidays. But then I remind myself that there is always some holiday or celebration or reason all year round to lose focus and strap on the ole feed bag. I know that some people really love summer, the clothes, the beaches the lovin'.... but I have always favored colder climates. Maybe it's because I feel so unattractive in the summer when I am sweating all over everything, when my make up and hair are ruined before I even get to my office. And let's not forget how extremely flattering summer style clothes are to the fuller figure. Can you feel the sarcasm? ;) So to sum up I am super excited and a little trepidacious about the upcoming months.

Business has been wonderfully busy the past 3 weeks and I hope that it will continue... in fact it probably will since the fall is usually when clients start to book regularly again. I have been using what little down time I have to try and organize my home life as well as getting my business on track. I HAVE to be in a good position when things really start picking up. I did manage to make it to the grocery store and buy healthy foods (yay!) but I haven't as yet been to the gym. I have been walking more but not enough for me to consider it a work out. I do get inspired to be more active in the fall and winter so I have that to look forward to.

The posts may continue to be sporadic as I try to adjust to a new schedule and the worlds longest to-do list. But I'm still here, still reading your blogs and still figuring out what is best for me.

Be good to yourselves!

Holy Moly!

Hello Bloggers!

How is the summer (or winter for those down under) treating you? I've got a busy little life going on here. Friends moving, friends visiting... more friends moving, oy! However the thing that is taking up most of my time ( I would love to type "exercise and awesome weight loss") is my business. I am currently reading this amazing small business book written especially for massage therapists and I have started implementing the changes I need to make and the work I need to do immediately.

I'm talking 24/7...365. If I am not physically working on someone I am promoting, emailing, calling, networking, decorating and redecorating my totally sweet bigger and better office. I haven't been to the gym or worked out in 2 weeks and it has to stop. I know it would help with the anxious and restless nights I have been having. I am border line obsessed with making my business successful but I must remember to put myself first because without me there would be no business.

Even though I am working my tail off, I don't have the money to show for it just yet. I know that will come in time but for now this chica is beyond broke. And you know what happens to your grocery list when you have $20 to stretch into several days worth of food? Cheap, filling and poor choices for your pantry and fridge. I try to make the best decisions but sometimes my hunger gets in the way. Hopefully that situation will change by next week. :)

I was super excited because I thought my ridiculously expensive gym membership was up in October ( I got a three year) but when I called to check I was informed that is was up in October... of 2010. Boo! When I first got the membership it was easy peasy to get there but now with development in the area the traffic has become horrible and takes a standard 30 minutes to get there. It's only less than 10 miles away!!! I was so looking forward to having that extra money to pay bills and play catch up. I had visions of utilizing the netflix exercise dvd's in my own home. That will have to wait I guess.

Needless to say, I have to get back into the swing of things. Morning workouts need to start happening since I am on call for appointments from 10am on. I am going to start with a reasonable number like working out 3 times a week. It doesn't have to be the gym but it needs to be a good workout of some kind. Walking around the track, a dance class.. the gym I am still paying for! ;)

I am loving the book The Core Balance Diet. It takes you through the very babiest of steps to changing your life for the better and as soon as this girly has more than $20 to buy groceries I will be heading to Wegman's for my first weeks worth of body balancing ingredients.

On a super positively awesome note, I am going to Colorado in October to visit my amazingly generous and lovely friends, the Youngs! I can't wait!

You Can Go But Be Back Soon

Today Anne and Stu left for Sweden..... for two maybe three years. I am both happy and sad, happy that they have this amazing adventure in front of them but sad that they are no longer an hour away in D.C. So to honor their courageous journey I have uploaded some pics of things that Sweden is famous for.

Abba..... I love Abba. (Mama mia.... here I go again!)

Ikea, who doesn't love Ikea?

Swedish Meatballs. However, they probably refer to them as just plain meatballs.

The Nobel Peace Prize is held in Sweden. Maybe one of them will receive this during their stay. :)

Looky What I Did!

Since I have been on a Madmen kick and since Christina Hendricks is such an inspiration to me, I decided to make a version of myself that I would want to see on the show. Go to Madmenyourself.com and do one of yourself. It's uber fun!

Inspiration

My current girl crush, Christina Hendricks!

My new favorite show!

One of the first plus size super models, Emme.

The Queen.

Ruby Rocks! Her strength and determination are amazing.

Thank You.

Thank you for your amazing support on my last post. I cried when I read your comments and am so grateful to you my dear friends. :)

I'm not really sure where to go from here. I want to be a positive influence on peeps not a negative Nancy. So I can't promise that I wont be gloomy from time to time (think that it has to do with Pisces being my ascending sign ;)) but I will try to let my Aries nature take a little more of the front seat in my personality. Whatever that means. :D

I went to the grocery store and purchased whole, natural healthy foods. When I have eaten out it's been the healthiest choices possible and very conservative portion sizes. I have been eating 5 to 6 small meals a day and am not letting the "guilt" card show it's face when I do have something "sinful." I am going to the gym tomorrow for the first time in a month and even though it may suck I know I will feel better for going. I am going to try to keep up with the picture food journal posts but wont hold myself to an either all or nothing approach.

The next couple of weeks are full of exciting things and gatherings. My dear friends Erin, Jonathan, Sadie and Jack are coming back to VA for a visit and a birthday party! My best friend Elisa just had her baby girl, Charlotte, and I plan on spending plenty of time getting to know her. Plus it's Elisa's bday soon as well as my dear Patherine's. They are only 2 days apart! I have a wedding on the 8th which let's face it could be an emotional mine field for me but I will try my best to focus on the joy of the couple's new adventure together. I move into the new office space on the 1st which I hope will open many, many, many doors of prosperity for my business partner and I.

Thank you guys for sticking with me through my ups and downs. I generally am a happy person I just get lost from time to time. Have a great week!

Feeling Topsy Turvy

Do you ever feel as if you have absolutely no control over any aspect of your life yet you try and try pretending that you do? So imagine combining that feeling with feeling very much left behind in the direction your life has taken.

I wake up, worry about money, worry about whether or not my business will be a success, worry about my health..... and so on, all day and most nights. Then once the worry has exhausted me the guilt sets in. I am 33, single with no prospects, in debt ( but slowly getting out of it), fat, tired, in some sort of physical pain most of the time and moody as hell. At least it seems like I have been for the past several months. I can't seem to focus. That's not true, I can focus but only on the negative. Of which I am trying to break the habit. I like feeling happy, successful, healthy and strong I am just having a really hard time getting back to that.

Don't get me wrong, I have really great days as well but it seems the lately the bad are outnumbering the good. Saturday I went to a farewell shindig up in DC. My friends Anne and Stu are moving to Sweden to study for several years. It's all so exciting and bittersweet and envy inducing. I felt very out of place at this soiree. I was the largest woman there, I was sad and I felt uninteresting. My usually excellent conversation skills died before we even left Fredericksburg and I wrapped myself in loneliness and isolation. Everyone was talking about their glamorous lives, their travels for work, their artistic endeavors and their upcoming moves to different and exciting countries.

I felt like George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life.... everyone is moving on and I am stuck in Bedford Falls feeling miserable and longing for much, much more. This feeling was heightened by the news that my good friend Emre and his girl Pattie are moving to Holland in November. I have already been more than envious of Emre's jet-setty lifestyle (he is a film producer of documentaries and nature programs, some of which you may have seen on National Geographic.) So there you have it. The girl who has wanted to travel, have exciting adventures, do something to change the world for the better is still in the same town she grew up in, scraping by and feeling extremely sorry for herself. And I have no one to blame but me. I got myself into debt, I have no savings, no insurance no house or securities...... I did it, no one else. Self sabotage is something I am very VERY good at, so good in fact that I can't seem to break the habit.

My best friend is married and expecting a baby any day now, my dear friends Erin and Jonathan took an amazing leap of faith and moved to Colorado where they are extremely happy and now Ms. Erin is going back to school which is so totally awesome! Dark Fury has revived her acting dreams and talents and is planning on moving to Northern Virginia. Retainer girl has her own home, a career in a field she loves and an amazing education. My YOUNGER sister is married, has the cutest little girl and has just bought her first home. They all have worked very hard for these things and deserve every single one of them. :) It just puts a little perspective on my life and how very much it is lacking.

Yes, I am proud that I will be moving into a bigger and better office space. That my business is still on it's feet in a recession but it also scares the bejeezes out of me. I am so far in the red that I don't know if being in the black will ever become a reality for me. I worry, cry and lose sleep all the time. Some months I don't make enough to cover half of my bills and I hate that. I know that the first few years of a new business is a struggle. I just wish I had someone to share the load with. My business partner is blessed enough to have a loving and supportive husband who makes a very comfortable living so she doesn't "need" to work and can afford not to while she 100% promotes her business.

I know I must be coming across petty and whinny and super duper sorry for myself but I have been doing this alone for a really long time and it would be nice to be taken care of for a little while. I want to be able to take full breaths again, to not feel on edge, to get that spark back. This may sound extremely unfeminist but I would like for a man to take care of me for a change. Especially since my job is to nurture and take care of others on a daily and hourly basis. But it's like a double edge sword, I want to be in an amazingly supportive relationship but it's difficult when you hate how you look and when most men write you off as anything romantic the moment they see you. Welcome to the friend zone!

I know what I need to do. I know what I need to change. But how do you tell the negative voices inside to "SHUT UP" long enough for you to do something about it? How do you look at yourself in the mirror and love the person staring back?

I Am a Lying Liar Who Lies

I am not going to "swear" to put up posts in a certain time frame anymore because it makes me a stinky liar girl. :) I feel rather scattered and unorganized lately because I have a lot going on. Lots of business stuff, money stuff and life stuff. Nothing bad just a lot. I have not been actively trying to lose weight or have a "plan" which I am so good at making but not sticking to. I am eating good foods, taking vitamins and going for walks and once I feel steady on my feet again I feel that I can better concentrate on a course of action.

We move into the new office space August first so until then and a few weeks after that time blogging may be a little iffy. I am still reading all of yours even if I don't comment please know that I am cheering you on from here.

Hello Out There...there...there (echo)

Bad blogger...bad, bad, bad blogger! I swear I will be putting up a post this weekend but it's been a wee bit busy round these here parts. Thanks for sticking with me kids! :)

On Wegman's, Work News and Wonderful Cheese

That's right, you read it correctly....Fredericksburg has finally come into it's own. We got a Wegman's!! I never really new what I was missing until I toured the mecca that is Wegman's. The organic section alone made my head swoon and it was love at first sight the moment I laid eyes on the cheese area. I did manage to restrain myself on my first ever shopping trip there. Partly because I had a limited budget and partly because it was the grand opening and you could barely move. I did however have coupons for a free packet of Wegman's butter and Wegman's BBQ sauce... I chose to go with Memphis style as opposed to Asian (it contained high fructose corn syrup as it's first ingredient.)


I purchased a fresh loaf of pain de champagne ( AMAZING!!), rye crackers, Italian salami, reduced fat cream cheese, Drunken Goat cheese (my absolute favorite), a mixture of olives and the brown Wegman's bag contains one everything bagel which I had for breakfast this morning. :)


The bbq sauce, organic 1% milk, salad mix, butter and the white bag contains and assortment of rugelach from the bakery. Sigh.
I cannot wait until the crowds die down to go back and truly explore all the wonders that store has to offer.

On to other news. Most of you know (cause it's on the side bar;)) that I am reading Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth. Well it took me a while to connect with the book but I have and was it ever amazing. My eyes have been opened to a new way of being. A new way of looking at life, the world and myself. I am not quite finished with the book just yet. It's a lot to go over and contemplate and to be honest... I don't want to rush it. I am enjoying it too much. :D

I don't know if it's the book or the work I have been doing for a while on positive thinking and the Law of Attraction but something very exciting has happened. My business partner and I are doing well enough that we have decided to get a much bigger office. We have also decided to take the leap on an idea we have been sitting on for quite a while. It's still in it's infancy BUT we are opening the Alternative Wellness Center of Fredericksburg!!! I will go into more details in a later post but for now here are some pictures of our new (as of August 1st) office.


It's located right next to the buildings elevator which is awesome since we both have elderly and handicap clients.

A nice big welcoming waiting area. I see it painted a soothing color with warm comfy seating, plants, soft music, soft lighting and candles.

It has a separate storage room for a fridge, microwave and plenty of shelving for sheets, lotions and oils.

Don't worry these desks will be gone before we move in. :) It has two separate offices for private massage, reiki, reflexology and healing rooms.

It was like these rooms were made for massage. The back wall has a built in ledge that can hold any manner of decorative things, candles, lotions and whatnots.

This little alcove could be anything. We have a number of ideas for this space.
It really is coming together beautifully. Wonderful things are unfolding every day and I am excited and curious how it will all turn out. Our marketing has been really aggressive and is starting to pay off. Our main goal is to help people. To offer folks an alternative to healing, wellness and health. A place they feel safe and can trust... after all, isn't that really all anyone wants? :)

Well, it wouldn't be my blog if I didn't include some pics of delicious, whole foods so here goes.

This weekend my favorite wine bar/shop, Kybecca was having a sale on their cheeses.... of which there are many and they are all delicious. I managed to limit myself to just 3 but they were unfortunately the three most expensive. :/

I only have pics of the two I have tried so far which combined with some fruit made a delicious and oh so European lunch.

The yellow one is a semi-soft cow's milk cheese from Virginia. Have to say that I didn't care for it as much as I hoped to. It may be better cooked into a dish but on it's on it was too gamey. The white cheese however I could eat all day. It's a french Camembert that was as smooth as butter. Some rinds on cheeses are meant to be enjoyed like certain Bries but this one you will want to remove. It is very bitter and has a distinct penicillin flavor which made my eyes tear.

Cherries!!!! My favorite fruit!

This with crackers is all you really need in life. :)

Be good to yourselves blogger friends.... it's the truest road to happiness. :)